Humor, chistes, bromas, jokes in English

Chistes

Puedes practicar inglés divirtiéndote. Comprende el chiste, repítelo a ti mismo y luego cuéntaselos a los demás con gracia, con entonación. Cuando bromeas en inglés demuestras cuanto conoces del idioma y la  cultura que lo envuelve. A veces se trata de juego de palabras cuya correcta pronunciación y diferenciación te ayudan a un mayor dominio de la articulación de sonidos en inglés.

DOCTORS:

A man receives a phone call from his doctor. 
Doctor:  "I have some good news and some bad news." 
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first." 
Doctor:  "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." 
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?" 
Doctor: "The bad news is  ...   I forgot call you yesterday"

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Fat patient: Doctor, I want to lose weight fast. 
Doctor: It is very easy, just keep shaking your head, left and right. 
Fat patient: All the time? 
Doctor: No, only when someone offers you food

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Parejas   = couple

My husband and I divorced because of religious differences.

He thought he was God and I didn’t.

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Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY"

This is why:

       When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX".

       After sex, he will remove the letter "S" 

       and start calling you his "EX".

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                  Jefes - empleados  
Boss, head, chief - employee, worker

Boss : ¿do you believe in life after death?

Employee: (laughs) Sir,that's nonsense...there's no proof of it!!! 

Boss: well there is now!. After you left for your Uncle's funeral,he came here looking for you.

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